It took me until well into my 30’s to feel confident in my body and the skin that I’m in. I’ve never been slim and have generally avoided mirrors most of my life. I don’t wear makeup (apart from the odd occasion going out) so I only use a mirror for a two minute hair dry in the morning and for close up checking my toothbrushing each day.
So when I saw this Kink of The Week prompt was Mirrors I knew what I would have to talk about. Recently he’s been making me watch. Previously if we were in front of a mirror I would always fix my eyes on his face. Eye contact is important between us and we often stare at each other when we orgasm and find that connection so very important, but lately he’s pushed some of my limits by making me look at myself and my own face.
We have a full length mirror in our bedroom and he enjoys watching the reflection as I suck his cock, but he especially likes bending me forward or taking me from behind directly in front of the mirror. He can see my breasts swinging, my face flushing red and my mouth opened wide in its classic O shape pre-orgasm.
“Don’t look at me look at your reflection, look how hot you are. Look how much you enjoy being fucked like this. Look at how wonderfully turned on you are, look at how much you enjoy my cock in your arse”
If I try to close my eyes or look away it is reinforced. Deep down I still don’t want to see myself, but not only does it tick my humiliation box, but if I can get past the fact I’m looking at myself he’s completely right. I look sexy, I look desperate and slutty and enjoying it. My opened mouth wide eyed gaze would be easy to enjoy in any porn I was watching if I didn’t know it was me. I still struggle, but when he gets it right and I can look at myself in the mirror I have the biggest and wildest orgasms watching him fuck me and how I’m reacting.
My general body confidence has increased ten fold in the last three years mainly from my photography. The lens and camera is just another mirror – yet I look at myself in a completely different way than seeing my reflection. I’ve taken a couple of images of myself in a mirror I’ve enjoyed especially Camera and M is for mirror. I’m trying to utilise this new mental image of myself sexually, and this includes watching close up images from my phone or in the mirror too. Even watching myself have a wank in a mirror is now an interesting activity which intrigues me. The sight of my muscles spasming after I’ve orgasmed is often enough to turn me on and make me want to do it again.
Seeing myself during sex and accepting and embracing my sexuality is just another reason my sex life is getting better and better.