New day

“I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.”

~ J. B. Priestley

I struggled slightly with this week’s quote. Not because I didn’t agree with it, but because these last two weeks have been so difficult I found it hard to resonate with it.

Normally I’m a morning person. I like a fresh start and a new challenge. As a generally optimistic person I look at each day as a new challenge to make a difference to someone. I work with people and this is a big part of who I am. But these past few months have taken much more of a toll on me than I expected. I hate the fact it’s chased my libido away and made me doubt my self physically and mentally. Culminating in a day last week when I couldn’t imagine it ever getting better. When I was in tears walking round the supermarket and then going out for a walk once home and thinking I could just keep walking and not go back. I couldn’t even face heading back home.

I don’t think my little bit of magic has gone it’s just been buried under a pile of work and family stress. I’m permanently on high alert which is exhausting and emotionally draining. So when I read this quote it stung in a way that I wasn’t expecting. Missing my optimism. Missing the delights in the new and unknown. The last three years of my personal life have been full of adventure and exploration – creatively and sexually. This photographic blog has shown some of these journeys and maybe I should look at what I’ve done and remember that it will be like that again. In doing so I thought about morning photographs I have taken. And immediately thought of my Birthday Sunrise photo shoot – on the Northumberland coast at 5.30 am on my birthday. This is one image I haven’t shared before and it helps to remind me what life can be like. Maybe not soon. Maybe not in the same way. But that little bit of magic is still there. Just waiting.