“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” ~ Sylvia Plath

This week’s quote is such a true one in life. I think it covers all aspects of creativity, paintings, sculpture, written and spoken word, music and for myself particularly photography. One of the many things I struggle with in this blog is the writing. My followers are use to my photography but my written pieces that accompany them are often much shorter and rarer.

I don’t feel I have the flare with words as some of my favourite bloggers do. They say a picture paints a thousand words and sometimes that seems correct but other times it’s a few choice words or sentences that lift a mediocre photo to something special.

There has been times in the last two years when I’ve had something to say and I’ve then had to work out and take a photograph to go with it. The posts Basque and Black Lace are prime examples but the majority of my creativity comes from spending time with my camera and being able to create striking images. This is so much easier when using someone else as the model (which unfortunately only happens occasionally) because the amount of self doubt is reduced. I’m not looking at the image and thinking “is my arse too big?” Or “is my birth mark too obvious?” I’m just looking at the image and working out if it looks good or not.

My self doubt has been higher recently probably due to all the other added stresses that a global pandemic brings but also as I’ve felt rather lost. My purpose at work was massively reduced. I wasn’t playing music with my friends or sharing images at the camera club. And like many I’ve put on a bit of weight during lockdown so my sense of self worth and sexiness has unfortunately dropped.

I’d have hoped with all the time on my hands I would have spent ages getting interesting and inspiring images but that wasn’t the case. I hardly picked up my camera. If it wasn’t for my weekly jewellery change or prompt weeks on SinfulSunday I doubt I would have taken any new images.

So to accompany this post I’ve decided to use a completely unedited image I took during lockdown. It was an outtake from when I took the image Pink Chest It is an attempt to have the “outgoing guts” to show something personal. To take risks and quieten the self doubting voice that is my “worst enemy” Let us see if I can move forward and apply this to the rest of my 2020.

Colour photograph of a naked woman standing behind a wooden table showing her from thighs to neck with her hands over her bits but showing her naked  breasts

8 thoughts on “Self Doubt

  1. You are so skilled at capturing detail and this photograph exemplifies this. The texture in your skin is poignantly beautiful.

    I like that your photos stand alone, and when you occasionally write words I pay attention. I bet a lot of people will relate to this post and there’s value to putting things like this out in the world.

    I love where your photography has been going, even if you’re focusing on it less. One of my interests for future photography projects is to present a more full and honest, less artistically idealized version of beauty. This is where things get really interesting.

    I’m glad you’re still here posting despite challenges of life.

  2. This is a stunning image. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of yourself with us. In both the image and the words. I too *heavily* rely on photography to tell most of my stories and often feel a loss for words when I go to share an image for a prompt. And just as often cop out and add a song lyric or someone else’s brilliant words instead of pushing myself to be any more creative and clever than I feel capable of in the moment lol

  3. I have hidden behind my images too but honestly, I love your words. I always find your words are real… They have come from your heart. You should keep pushing out the words with the images you feel draw them out <3

    As for this image – it too is real and beautiful <3 And unedited makes it more magical <3 xx

  4. What a challenge for me and so many of us to focus on writing, creating, photographing and sharing without our drawing into our awareness the image and thoughts and imagined judgements invisibly surrounding us. What insightful and honest thoughts, photographic portrayals of your self or portions of your self… Focused, yet certainly not filthy. Focused and forthcoming…

  5. I’ve always found your images quite captivating Missy. You seem to have a remarkable feel for what works through the lens and the bravery with which you deal with your self portraits is something that I have drawn on as I stumble into expressing myself.

    Your words may not come as often and as easily to you, but you can tell that you take the same care and attention with them as you do your photography. This post is an example of that.

    The effects of lockdown on our creative spirit have been huge and the other side of this has been questioning our self worth. I hope you can continue to quieten the voice of your worst enemy.

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