Perfect love

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” – Tom Robbins

I learnt pretty early on in my love life that you can’t really change anybody else. You have to love them for who and what they are. Obviously we do change over time as our life experiences make us grow as an individual and relationships change too but love is love. It’s either there or not and if it is there and you want a relationship to work it usually takes effort.

I know that none of us are perfect and it’s our imperfections that make us interesting and human. In some ways I don’t see love as being able to be perfect or imperfect. It is just love – with all the complications that come with it. It makes us crazy, and happy but also can cause pain and heartache. What amazes me is that our ability to love is infinite.

The day I married my husband I looked at him and thought I couldn’t love this man any more than I do right now. I was wrong and been happy to be proved wrong many times since. It has grown and expanded over the years and as our relationship has changed the love just seems to fill whatever shape it becomes. I even remember being worried when I was pregnant with my second child thinking how on earth could I love this child as much as my first? Being scared incase I didn’t. Luckily my own mother reassured me that time and told me it’s infinite what I feel for the second won’t take anything away from my feelings for my first. She was of course right.

I am a bit of a perfectionist but that is usually work task centred and luckily means I don’t try and make all my relationships perfect. I know sometimes I could work harder at being a good wife, mother or friend, but it will never detract from my love for my family and friends.

Maybe as a start I will tell the important people in my life that I love them – something I do do, but maybe not frequently enough.